Thy Heart, Thy Fertile Land

"As you sow, so shall you reap”,

is what we were always told

It was grilled inside till it took hold

But nobody thought one could be so bold

To really believe, what they called, fables of old

Because wasn’t that something cheap that the dimwitted sold?

“As you sow, so shall you reap”,

was not meant as a lesson to transform the internal

How outrageous to think beyond the external!

How whimsical to think there is an eternal!

Or to deny that this was something meant to divide the fraternal!

Or to deem that things could be solved by something nocturnal!

“As you sow, so shall you reap”,

wasn’t intended to go so deep

It seems unwarranted to take such a big leap

Wouldn’t it be better to put the conscience to sleep?

But it wouldn’t do, the heart did let the lesson seep

Oh how much that has made the eyes weep!

“As you sow, so shall you reap”,

was a promise made to the Unseen

And the test is to see who is so keen

On keeping the promise and to really mean

It for Him, and nothing else, no matter what it may seem

Until you and I have been seen

Unsolicited Whisperer

It is always looming over you and I
Waiting in ambush, eager to try
to lure you into deception
To drive you to despair till you’ve broken.
And then it is ready to strike.


It comes during moments of joy…
because didn’t something feel deficient?
It comes during moments of sadness…
because when was life never an arduous struggle?
It comes when you succeed...
because weren't you actually underserving?
It comes when you fail...
because when have you ever truly triumphed?
And now it is ready to strike.


It becomes your inner voice
It turns into your trusted adviser
It blends with your entire being
till it becomes the weft to your warp


And now you are its and it is yours.

The Winters of Life

Those pangs of grief, oh those clutches of longing -
Thrashing and squirming my heart and soul;
Perhaps winter has come too soon.

Have you ever lived a life that was not yours?
Have you ever tasted sorrow that was always yours?
Have you ever turned around from what was theirs?
Perhaps winter has come too soon.

Do words ever really speak the truth?
Do they even say what they are meant to convey?
Do they ever truly reveal our hearts and souls?
Perhaps winter has come too soon.

Why, though, do we blame it on winter?
Is it because it gets dark too early?
Or the chills that accompany the night?
Or the bare, fragile branches hanging on trees?
Whatever it may be,
There’s a different kind of beauty in winter.

Maybe it's the quietness of my being
Or the slow rhythm of my heartbeats

Or the stillness in the air

Whatever it may be,
There’s a different kind of beauty in winter.

Perhaps it's the icicles on rooftops
Or the softness of flurries
Or how time itself seems to freeze
Whatever it may be,
There’s a different kind of beauty in winter.

Where Art Thou?

As I stare into the blankness
It all begins to fade
Now it's all blurry,
Now it has disappeared

Can you hear that noise?
Why is it so indecipherable?
Now it's all a hush,
Now it's gone

Nay, I can see, but not the words
I can hear, but not the voice

"I am here", says the feeble voice
"Where art thou?", I ask
"I am here, right here, where I always was", it says.

Alas! It wasn't lost. It hadn't even left.
I was the words. I was the voice.

A Lost Memory

I had seen it bloom
I had seen it begin
I had seen it rise

Yesterday, I watched the dawn break;
Today, I indulged in the hues that it coloured

But each day I struggle
And each day a part of me dies
And yet I walk; I try

Now, I live in a forgotten world
Where I have forgotten you
And you have forgotten me

I do not recall how it was to see you
When I look at you I know we had shared goodbyes
We had hoped that when we meet again
We will remember where it all began

But now when I glimpse into your eyes
All I find is… a question
I see you questioned.
I hear you question.
A piercing, throbbing, searching question:

"Who are you?"
I think you have forgotten
And so have I

A Wish

Up and beyond, into the starlit sky I gaze
What I wish to see, I cannot tell

Perhaps...it's the stories of old
that I wish to behold?

Perhaps...I wish to see their stories of love
painted on that vast canvas above me?

Perhaps...I wish to look far and beyond
till I enter that realm of reality
from this abode of dreams and truly live...

Perhaps...I wish to live in Tomorrow
I wish to rest today and when I rise at dawn
I wish it wont be 'today' but instead 'Tomorrow'...

All I wish to know is if I am safe...
in the heavens above, because I fear;
I fear to rise one morn
and forsake all wishes and only mourn...

But nay!

The Almighty has given us all this beautiful gift of hope -
A tiny light flickered in the heavens yesterday
Didn't you see?
I woke up from a dream and lo behold!
What a scene my eyes had seen!

Nay! I will not give up!

You wish me to be blind!
But, alas, I will not be so!
How can I?
When I have been given sight from the heavens above
Of what lies far across,
across the heavens, across the oceans,
and far beyond...

From the Shadows

Strolling on a lonely pathway was a lone rider
The cacophony of sounds fading into the background
Thoughts reverberating within the strider,
Pace reflecting the burden with which he was bound

Dark clouds descended, the gaze of the moon hovered
Stillness swept over the Earth and all fell quiet.
It seemed as if the entire landscape had surrendered
To the clutches of a dark, hopeless, cruel plight

His greatest fear once again whispered aloud
The far cries of a long forgotten battle resounded
Once again he feared defeat, once again he vowed:

Thou cannot cage me again,
Not now when I have learned to fly!

Thou cannot tear me apart by your inflictions,
Not now when I have learned to endure!

Thou cannot weaken my certitude,
Not now when I have learned to trust!

Thou cannot plunge me into darkness,
Not now when I have known many dawns!

Thou cannot bereft me of hope once again,
Not now when I have learned to dream!

I have known what lies in the depths of the abyss!
Never will you know another path into the shadows
Because I have known all, and from all I was delivered!

In the End

Between moments and during intervals
I pause, I breathe, I reflect, I marvel.

Often times I strain to see through
The blazing darkness that hinders my view

So I close my eyes and feel the rhythm
The rhythm of life and the beats of my heart

Garbed in a cloak of darkness, I shamble forward
Groping and stumbling, I tremble, but I move onward

Hidden from the rest and even from self
Quietly, ever so quietly, it descends from above

Peace.

Like a silent pleasant breeze
Oh what a relief it brings, this peace!

No easy journey this is, they say

Aye, it isn't if you don’t know the way

Hear, hear this piece of sudden epiphany:
Tears of pain are few but of joy there *will* be many!

A Moment of Solitude

The star scattered sky
The moon gazing from up high
The gallant clouds and the silent breeze
Darkness grows and the world comes to a cease.
She sits on the window sill
Staring at the world that’s still
Deep within her, she hears a whisper
A strange question, a long-sought prayer:

Where do I belong?
Wading across the ocean of doubt and confusion
Stranded, lost and forlorn, she looks beyond the delusion
As reality is not what is seen but that which is hidden
Her agony deepens, but she awaits for that which is bidden
A whisper that quivers her soul:

When will I be whole?
Her soul has been shunned for too long
Imprisoned with chains too strong
For long she had chased the outside world
And silenced the world within.
Abandoned, it lied buried deep
Its whispers she chose not to heed
Now, in dire need, she is left with only one voice
So she listens as she has no choice:

When will I be free?
Every morn brings the same silent struggle -
The search for an answer beyond all hurdles
To reach into the depths of darkness
And rekindle that extinguished light
To lift the veil of incertitude
And behold The Favor in gratitude
To silence the subtle evil whisper
And feel that pleasant zephyr
To break free from her agitation
And rejoice at her liberation.

I Feel You

If an answer could transform lives
If a gesture could cease those cries
If a kind word could join those hearts
That have so bitterly fallen apart
Then wouldn't you?

If a smile could wipe their tears
If listening could make them feel heard
If a helping hand could erase their fears
Then wouldn't you?

If resisting could make us share hurts
If standing by their side could make them stronger
If thinking of them could make them feel loved
Then wouldn't you?

If their souls' thirst could be quenched
If their was hope to save those dying hearts
If it was your mother, your father, your brother, your sister
Or any of your loved ones
If it was you and not them
Then wouldn't you?

So why don’t you?

You say it's not possible
You say you cant stand by their side
Know they wont either when it is your turn
Know if your turn doesn't come here
It will certainly come later
You say, by their side, physically
To stay is something so silly
To desire to talk to them in person
Is like not using your reason
You say you are helpless
You say you have limitations
That may be true, you are bound by your limitations,
But only *you* - not Him

And so to empower you was given
The most powerful weapon-
Prayers
Your prayers - your love - will transcend all limitations
All boundaries, all constraints, all restrictions
And if your plea is sincere and if your love is pure
Then it will - it must - change destinies

In their silent pleas
In their hearts somewhere deep
They often remember you
But, do you?

Transition

She cried in the depths of night.
Lingering questions, intense fear, and painful plight
A young, aching heart, and a tender, battered soul
Stricken by grief and dole
Abandoned in lonesome darkness
Bereft of her profound firmness;
She had once stood on peaks
But was now in a valley so deep
That the sun was but a distant memory
And anguish the only reality in this purgatory
"Will no help come?", said a feeble voice inside...

But of course He is always by her side
As when all faces turn
Just One awaits your return
His alone is without a masquerade
And yet His remembrance had fade.
From every soul, help she had sought
But One remained far from her thought
And now when all doors remain locked
She seeks the One that patiently awaited her knock

Ashamed at her meager faith
Baffled by her dilapidated state
She had no words to share, only tears to shed
And so she cried, cried in the depths of night..

But of course, He knew all along
Everything that she had undergone
And now finally to Him she had returned
But He withheld His help till the time destined;
As otherwise, she would be unprepared
For the path that lay beyond her to tread
And at the appointed hour, her plea was answered -

He made her rise once again
Rise from the depths of darkness and pain
To a height greater than from where she had fallen
To a place where her mind never dared to imagine
And the sun now gleamed like never before
To the farthest corners of her shore
And now her ordeal was but a forgotten bad dream
As she sailed in this fresh, new stream
And her boundless felicity knew no words but only tears
And so once again she cried, cried in the depths of night...

In the Woods

Behold the merry dandelions and the sweet smelling flowers!
Soothing is their sight and enchanting is their beauty!

As the golden hues of the sun tickle the lonely winds,
Clouds drape the azure sky, leaves flutter, and the birds sing

The quietness of the woods, the gushing waterfall, and the breeze
In these moments of solitude, of utter silence, and peace

Sits a tiny figure upon a rock, listening to nature's elegy
Thoughts as distant as this soul from its celestial reality

It tells a story of how it sings through dusk and dawn
But none heed its message because it was long foregone

It tells a tragic tale of human souls, of wanderers
Who through its wilderness with a veiled heart sauntered

Who traversed the lonely woods and the quiet rivers
But did not comprehend the silence of these reminders..

Oh, how I dread, how I fret, how I quiver;
The ending - the great mighty ending - and that lone survivor!

Hope

Another heart wounded by the storm
Another soul torn away by the wind
And behold! Yet another death.

Far across eyes gaze upward
Toward heavens they send their plea.

Earth abound is this withered soul,
With a grieving heart and this tormenting dole*.

Beautiful gifts were carefully crafted and conferred.
Yet, this soul sits upon the shore, staved and bereaved

A curious sort of bird soars cloud high,
The watcher's eyes set upon it with a sigh.

It flies over the shore, dabbling the waters
It sings to the wind, making the autumn leaves flutter.

Ah! The desire that is kindled in the heart,
The yearning for freedom, the longing to part

From the shackles of life to the bliss of the heavens,
From the dregs of ruin to the zeniths of success.

To pursue the journey to the abandoned land
To trace back the path, from where it all began.

As the sun drinks the morning dew,
And eyes too now shed tears but a few,

A promise is recalled and a smile is drawn;
''The journey has begun, it shan't be too long…''



dole* (archaic) - sorrow; mourning

The Silent Sandglass

I feel vulnerable today
Having lived to this day
How long will life go on?
How much more is left within?
How far am I from moving on?
When my heart would lay bare,
All feigning gone?
For years I have chanted the Divine words,
But have I heeded?
They admonished me, gave me wise warnings,
But did I understand, did I listen?
Or have I drifted with the chaos?
Chosen to be enslaved, when I was free?
I see the world,
I am shown the Signs.
As I see dear ones bidding farewell to this earthly abode,
I wonder, is He saying something….perhaps to me?

It’s the sixth day of Ramadan. I am in the masjid praying taraweeh. I glance to my left and see a frail, old lady. Tears fill my eyes. I wonder how much time I have before my youth fades away and I, too, turn into a fragile, old woman...or will I breathe my last much sooner?

On my way back home, I am agitated by a sense of urgency. Tonight, I yearn. An ever increasing hankering pervades my entire being. I have a heightened sense of anxiousness tonight. I fear the inevitable; the sand in the hourglass might be approaching its end whilst I live in delusion. This uncertainty evokes a visceral longing to fulfill my purpose of creation. I fear that the hourglass may come to a halt and I will have to return to my Lord, without having accomplished anything of significance. I fear that I may return to Him empty handed, with my scrolls barren of any deed worthwhile - of an empty canvas that I was meant to paint - having failed to fulfill my task. I fear that I may disappoint my Lord for breaching terms in this contract of life. For long I have tried to assuage these feelings and convince myself that perhaps I still have time, but how do I know? I now realize how miserably I have failed.

I may have not discovered the Light - yet. In fact, tonight I feel empty. My emptiness is more piercing than ever. But, Ya Rabbi, I raise my hands to You in awe of Your Greatness and beg of You this: I earnestly desire Your Light. It encompasses me, but I fail to see it. Ya Rabbi, open my eyes to Your Light. Fill my mind, my heart, my soul, my body, and my life with Your Light. Ya Rabbi, help me to fulfil my purpose and return to You with my hands filled with gifts for You so that I may rejoice and not regret when the sand finally ceases to flow in the sandglass.

Riding Through the Fear

Standing at the brink of the horizon
She wept at the setting sun.

Overwhelmed with gloom
She thought she would never bloom.

To pave the path beyond, she had desired
To learn and grow, she had always aspired

However, she held her wings and denied them flight
Her fears reigned supreme, agonizing her plight.

So in distress she toiled
Inwardly, conflicting emotions roiled.

Her instincts wouldn’t surrender
As they knew that it rains after thunder.

So in darkness she wandered along the pathways
Stumbling upon the hurdles on the walkway.

Looking, searching, yearning
Earnestly for that long forgotten dream…

Then came a day when she arose at dawn
Streaks of light lulled her haunt.

Lo, behold! She could once again see
Her vision returned with astounding clarity!

Gazing at her shattered landscape of life,
She treasured the jewels from her strife.

From the wreckage of her life
She gathered every broken piece,
Recreated every dream that had shattered.

Riding through the fear, she at last, prevailed!
And to rise this high,
She had to simply open her wings and fly...

Being Me

Across the heavenly plains, across the time restraints
A divine decree was ordained.

'Be', was the command, and so it was -
Came into existence, a sophisticated creation.
'Womankind', is the name of this distinction

With such might and grace, was granted magnificence
With such dignity and honor, was raised to eminence.

Such names written on the pages of history
Such legacies passed on from the ancestry

Such stories of success, of virtue, of excellence
That one relates with such reverence:

Of little Maryam teaching Zachariah, a prophet
To have firm faith, from which in turn he did profit

Of Asiya, the wife of an atrocious tyrant
Who chose to submit to Him, so Jannah was her grant

Of Khadija, to the Prophet she was the most precious
As during dire times, she was his only fortitude and solace

Of Fatima, the Prophet's beloved daughter
Whose selflessness and piety, none can conquer

Such glory and favor, upon us God has bestowed
Likened the righteous ones, to precious pearls owned

But where are the pearls, in the world of today?
That beacon of light that was lit on that day?
Why are the candles bereft of their flame?
Why do we abandon uniqueness and wish to be the same?
Where is that gratitude, that pride in our Creator,
For that empowerment, that greatness, that tremendous favor?

Why have we chosen to fail, as don’t we know that true success lies only
In being true to ourselves, in being us, in being you, in
Being Me…?

Have you Found the Light?

People come and people leave.
They drift and they cleave.

A man stood amidst the crowd
Pondering over what we had vowed

Long, long ago, a promise we'd made
To submit to Him alone, we'd obeyed.

And so we were sent down
To different lands, different cities, and different towns

With only one purpose, to meet one goal
And so we all chose our path to fulfill this role

But on our course, came an unknown force
It steered us and took us astray

And after a deep, deep sleep, we wonder,
Was this the way?
Was this the purpose of our stay?
Or have we drifted far, far away?

We bow down to Him numerous times a day
None but in Him we place our trust, we say

But when our faith is put to test
Oh, how terribly we detest!

All words uttered are forgotten
All hope is forsaken

Minds question and doubts arise
Oh, but only if we were to realize!

The path we had chosen
Would be the cause of our affliction

And yet everyday we walk towards it in haste -
Towards our failure - oh, how our deeds we waste!

And then comes the inevitable fall!
And that's when to Him we crawl

We bleed. We cry. We try but we tumble
On our way to Him, we often stumble.

Therein lies our frailty and weakness
But therein, too, lies His Mercy and Greatness

As when the path gets too dark and uncertain
It's only His Light that shows us the way and lifts the curtain
The curtain of hope, of faith, of love, of triumph, of peace, of life...

Predicament

Crushed to ruins. Humbled to the limits.
Scarred. Shattered. Aggrieved.
Like an extinguished fire
Like a dying flower
Perceived to be gone, lost forever...

But beneath the ashes, embers glimmer
And amidst stones lie diamonds...
Could this just be nature's coincidence?
Or is this a Divine Ordinance?

Nothing of His creation is merely an existence
No predicament, no happiness, bears irrelevance
Every circumstance bears a significance
A mystery that only time can unravel
A wisdom that, in time, minds would marvel

And as embers return back to glory
By a slight gust of flurry
And roses bloom once more to splendor
By a slight sprinkle of shower
So, would you, O' agonized soul
Rise once again from the ashes, elevated;

Purified. Renewed. Recreated.

Twilight Thoughts

In the wee hours of morning, I am awakened
As the birds sing and the hues of life return.

I listen to the birds humming - a song so unfamiliar;
How could this be so distinct and yet so similar?

I yearn that I, too, could conceive
Thy beautiful praises that none but YOU can perceive...

I gaze at the streaks of light glistening through the haze
And wonder how one cannot be amazed

At His exquisite beauty that is so profound
When at every dawn and dusk it's found?

I look at the meadows; it too quivers by His magnificence -
Why then is it so difficult for man to abandon his insolence?

I glance at the radiant sun, shimmering
But my eyes shy away from its glimmering

I see the flowers blooming in the spring
An unceasing and boundless delight, it brings

And then I discern why all this was created
It is His way through which His presence is manifested

Nothing too difficult to comprehend
And yet many fail to discern

This simple mystery of the purpose of life's creation -
Which is simply to sow the seeds to ultimate elation.

Solitude

Late in the dark starry night, I gaze outside
When both the worlds, within and without, seem to be asleep

My heart whispers subtle praises, deep inside
Struggling to awaken the soul from its deep sleep

Searching for that sweetness of faith to seep inside my heart,
For the heart to live once again and to no more be this hard

Hoping that this will be the night when my eyes are no longer dry,
When finally I will save my heart and let it not die
And the agony of wanting to weep, but being unable to, will end at last

And my moments of solitude help me to look beyond the haze
Beyond the doubts, beyond the delusions, beyond the life that seems like a maze.

The Last Regret

After a long, unpleasant sleep, he has awakened
Uncertain if he has requited for his sins in the grave
His anxiety and agony has deepened.
Struck with the realization of the opportunity He gave
Alas! He knows not how much more retribution waits -
Didn’t he know that the world was but just a bait?
Eluded by his weensy good deeds, he thought he was safe.
He did little of that which he was ordained
As he was lulled into deception by the one who is utterly disdained.
He NOW bows down before the Almighty and cries for remission,
But doesn’t he realize that he has delayed his submission?
As God had given the key to purification,
But he thought his deeds would suffice for expiation.
The key was to bow down to Him and PRAY,
But prayers he had forsaken during his ephemeral stay
He had forgotten the significance and importance of this deed
Mistook it as nothing but a ritual, but of course it’s a fruitful seed
Whose pleasure and delight in the hereafter he would taste
In life he had the chance, but this chance he did waste
How unfortunate for having never tasted the sweetness of faith!
How hapless for abandoning the way to attain the most blissful state!
For having bargained for a heart barren of His remembrance
And for having lived a life that never experienced His magnificence -
As prayers open the doors of mercy and grace
Toward which everyone must race!
But what a vile end to his journey of life
As he chose to not strive
What an abysmal, everlasting abode that one might dread
But if you choose not to succeed, on his path you may tread.